Every new year is commonly perceived as a new beginning. However, the only thing that changes is the calendar year. Not me or you. While it would be great to be able to reset every once in a while, truth is change is a process and it doesn’t happen overnight. So no, you’ll not be happier, healthier, thinner or richer starting Jan 1st. Or any other day for that matter. We’re pretty much the same as we’ve been the day before.
That being said, I think NYE is a good opportunity to take an introspective look, look back with a learning mindset and look forward with optimism and determination. And I don’t think resolutions are bad in themselves. Quite on the contrary, they are very similar with business goals & KPIs: only useful if they’re set in a SMART way, as your North Star, this time at a personal level.
Oh, and of course you can set them any time of the year. While I don’t actually call them “resolutions”, I’ve been setting both personal and professional goals for myself for the past 10 years, and revisiting them quarterly to check on progress and adjust, because life happens. But let’s cut to the chase.
2021: year in review
There’s no year that’s all good, or all bad. Looking back is always a matter of perspective. I always choose to learn from the empty part of the glass, but focus on the half-full part, while practicing gratefulness for all those little moments, the happiness, the memories, the special people in my life.
2021 has been nothing short of challenging and intense. Despite all the global turmoil, the raging pandemic, the health scares that were way too many for a single year, the uncertainty surrounding us, there were so many things to be grateful for:
- 2021 was the first year when I really prioritised myself: my health, my wellbeing, my time – probably the perks of getting old 😂;
- I spent more time with my family;
- We travelled. A lot. In Europe and beyond. And we created so many meaningful memories in this process;
- I read. Much more than I used to. 30+ books: business books, biographies, literature. Food for soul;
- I had the courage to stop. For the first time in my life, I took a 4 months sabbatical;
- Mid-year, I embarked on an amazing growth journey with a truly special company, that values performance and people alike – so grateful to Bitpanda for the opportunity to build and grow together;
- More important than all else, I am incredibly grateful that all my loved ones are here, alive and well.
5 Lessons Learnt Last Year
1. Health is our biggest wealth
This is definitely a cliche – doesn’t everyone already know this? We probably do, but still we do so little to prioritise our health, both the physical and mental one. The past year taught me a difficult lesson and helped me be more aware of the importance of being healthy. We had quite a number of health scares:
- Several loved ones were suspect of life-threating diseases. Furtunately the diagnostics were not confirmed, but it made me wonder “what if?”;
- Kiddo was sick for 2 months in a row, from a simple running nose to respiratory & ear infections. We made our first trip to the ER and it was simply terrifying, made me appreciate so much more that I have a healthy kid;
- My migraines came back, more frequent than ever before, so was the lower back pain;
- Despite being fully vaccinated and very careful, Delta got to us in October, in the midst of the 4th wave in Romania. I experienced moderate symptoms, which was terrifying, and my vision was blurred for days in a row. Fortunately, my husband and kid were much better, but the 14 days spent measuring OSAT 3 times per day were tough. This made me less tolerant to the recklessness of people around that put us all in danger and generated so much pressure on our medical system.
All is well when it ends well. We’re safe and sound for now, and I’m more aware than ever of the importance of prioritising our physical and mental health. Do your regular checkups (yearly blood investigations and family doctor visits, ultrasound / mammography & PAP smear for women), don’t hesitate to pay your doctor a visit when you’re experiencing unusual symptoms, exercise for your health (not for that beach body, which in the grand scheme of things is completely irrelevant), give your body the nutrients it needs by eating healthier, sleep well, take care of you. Prevention is better than treatment. Self-care is the most important gift you can give yourself – and you don’t want to realise this when it’s too late.
2. Travel as if your life depends on it
Our holidays were no doubt the highest-return investment we did last year. Travelling with a toddler is not easy (I will write more about this later). Travelling during a global pandemic is unpredictable. Despite all the uncertainty around us, we decided to take advantage of my sabbatical and explore the world – as much as safe and possible during a pandemic.
We started off with a week-long trip to Dubai in March and then we went in the Seychelles, Crete, Mallorca, and the Maldives. In between, we spent countless weekends in the mountains and explored Vienna at length, where I successfully combined work with fun.
Travel is the best gift we gave our little one and our family. We created so many memories, spent so many unique moments together, connected with each other better, as we discovered the world. We’re committed to keep exploring the world and we plan to go on one holiday per quarter, to connect and recharge together. We also plan to take advantage of Bitpanda’s work from anywhere policy to discover new places and spend more time away, together.
3. More time doesn’t mean better time
At the beginning of my sabbatical, I was excited that I will be able to spend more time with my kid. I shortly realised that spending more time doesn’t automatically translate to more quality time together. Quite on the contrary. When you spend all your awake time with a human being, big or small, the perceived value of that time actually decreases.
What I experienced was quite surprising: there was no urgency to do meaningful things together. We started postponing activities for later – there’s plenty of time, isn’t it? I found myself more and more often immersed in my phone or social media, instead of connecting. My adorable kid started annoying me at times and I surprised myself raising my voice at him (which didn’t happen before). He wasn’t as fond of me either – he refused to play with me at times, wanting his daddy to get back home and spend time with him.
And then it hit me: spending all my time with my kid doesn’t mean we’re spending more quality time together. Even when it comes to human relationships, sometimes less is more.
Spending all your time with your kid doesn’t make you a better parent. And this equally applies to work: spending all your time working doesn’t make you a better professional. This was an insight moment for me and I decided to set clear boundaries and focus on connecting more and delivering more, instead of taking time at face value and use it as a unit of measurement for how good a parent / partner / professional I am.
4. Give yourself a break
Cut yourself some slack. Stop running. Give yourself permission to do nothing. I realised that oftentimes it’s not only society that holds us accountable to unrealistic standards. It’s ourselves.
It was hard for me to understand that I don’t have to be productive every single minute. 2021 was the year when I had the courage to stop. I wasn’t happy anymore: I was tired, stressed out, overworked. So I jumped off the wagon without having any backup plan, nor knowing where life would take me. I wrote here about my decision to leave Revolut. Looking back, it’s the best decision I’ve made from both a personal and a professional point of view. It was a much needed restart.
I’ve learnt to listen to my body. Jump off the hamster wheel, put things in perspective and start anew, without taking into account anyone’s opinions. I gave myself a break and I will do this whenever I’ll feel it’s necessary, for how long I need. And I recommend you to give yourself a break too, whenever you need it.
5. Stop doing, start being
Who are you when you don’t do? For way too long, I didn’t have an answer to this question. I was getting restless whenever I didn’t have the laptop by my side and a tasklist in front of me. When the tasklist was done, I imagined new projects, experiments, campaigns to run. I was unstoppable in my quest to do something and feel useful.
I vividly remember my therapy session when my therapist asked me:
“Why do you consider all the time that’s not worked to be lost time?”
For a brief second, I thought it doesn’t make sense to see them anymore, since they’re “crazier” then me. I mean, how could they say such a thing. And then they started quoting me: “I can’t loose time to take a break / see my best friend / cross the street and have dinner with my parents”.
And then it hit me. I was subconsciously associating every time not worked with lost time. And it wasn’t about work, but my feeling of worthiness or worthlessness thereof. I perceived myself as worthy only as long as I delivered something. Only as long as I did. This was my reality for more than a decade.
Weird enough, I don’t regret a thing. This is probably one of the reasons that helped me develop, learn faster, grow professionally. This partially explains the results I achieved. In the same time, it’s unsustainable on the long run – it inevitably leads to burnout and affects your mental health.
I was lucky enough to discover who I am when I don’t do at the right time. Last year was maybe the first time in my entire life when I enjoyed just being for a while and I rediscovered my passions besides work: travelling, reading, writing, dancing. And I am equally worthy when doing them.
3 goals for the year ahead
As I was writing in the beginning of this story, while I am not much into resolutions myself, I do believe in the power of goals as North Star metrics for the year ahead. I see them as rules of thumb that stay with me throughout the year and guide my decision-making process. For 2022, I want to:
- Prioritise health. If something affects my physical or mental health, it is not worth it, no matter how appealing it might be. I want to keep exercising regularly, eat healthier, do our regular checkups and take care of myself and my loved ones as priority zero;
- Do more with less. This is part of my mantra of being results-driven, not input-driven. At work, I want to deliver better results. At home, I want to increase the quality of time I spend with my kid, with my partner, with my loved ones. Instead of always aiming to increase the inputs, I want to increase the output with increased focus and attention to the things at hand;
- Live more. In 2021 I discovered the beauty of just being, so for the year ahead I want to just live the moment. Spend more time offline, read more, write more frequently, travel as much as practicable, dance barefoot under the sun.
That’s all folks: as simple as that. Thanks for reading this and bearing with me until the end. I hope you’ll turn all your plans into action this year, all while enjoying the journey. Meanwhile, just stress less, laugh more, take care of you!
Have a brilliant 2022 by your own definition!